Confession time: I’m a boudoir photographer who spends her days empowering women to see their own beauty, revel in their own uniqueness and power. However, ask me to step in front of the camera, and I’d rather wrestle a greased pig. Especially lately. Just as I felt I had finally navigated the ‘joys’ of my body image after 40, a post-pregnancy body image. I’ve now shifted into the delightful mysteries of perimenopause weight gain and night sweats. Although I consistently remind my clients on how our bodies are constantly evolving, I forget that I’m not immune to the same insecurities!

The Selfie Challenge: My Self-Inflicted Torture Session

How did I arrive here you ask? Why would I decide, in my mid 40s, to suddenly attempt selfies? Great question.  Firstly, I’ve been working on evolving my art the last couple of years with a mentor named Denise Birdsong.  I’ve taken multiple educational courses taught by her and attended skill building workshops hosted at her studio in San Francisco.  She constantly reminds us the importance of getting in front of the camera.  The reasons are endless: document our own body changes, identify and connect with our clients, stretch our artistic talents.  We even have homework assignments requiring us to take selfies and submit them for review.  I’ve always skipped this assignment….. Until now.  

Why I finally found the courage, I’m not sure but I decided it’s time. Nevertheless, I was bound and determined to not have good results. I’m very embarrassed to admit that, but in hindsight, I realize I was trying to self sabotage- big time.  I broke all the rules. First, wearing a baggy Queen shirt (my favorite btw) with a lunch stain on the front (thank you photoshop).  I didn’t even put on make up or try to tame the frizz that my hair was experiencing that day.  Why try when I knew what the end result would be? 

Armed with my pro equipment – the kind I usually wield to make other women feel like goddesses – I embarked on what I deemed my “selfie destruction mission.” The task was simple: take a few selfies exploring different emotive states. The reality? A full-blown confrontation with every insecurity I’ve ever had, magnified by the glorious realities of my post-pregnancy body image I thought I had overcome and the delightful mystery tour that is perimenopause weight gain.

Each pose attempt in the mirror felt like a battle against my own reflection. I scrutinized every curve, every expression, every perceived flaw (zit on my chin- thank you again photoshop). How many of my chins were showing? Did this angle make my stomach look… more “lumpy”? My relentless inner critic was living it’s best life. Again, I had convinced myself I’d hate every single photo, solidifying every insecurity I’ve felt about my body after 40 and post child. Let’s just say, the process of posing myself in a mirror, adjusting clothing, and trying to get my ding dang camera remote to fire while also not in the shot tested every last brain cell I had and was far more challenging than it looks. I was prepared for disappointment, ready to confirm all my worst fears about how I really looked.  

The Turning Point- an Unexpected Outcome

After my first few shots, I looked at the back of the camera and braced for the usual wave of cringey “oof that’s me?” thoughts to wash over me.  I was ready to confirm every doubt, to give up, and declare the “selfie challenge” a miserable failure.  Instead, I made adjustments and did some retakes.  

I bravely looked at my camera screen again, scrolling through the images, ready to just quit. I grimaced at the first few and then… it happened. To my absolute shock, I found one I didn’t hate. And then another.  I… liked them. More than liked them, actually.  Some I thought would be great to use in marketing, emails, and my website!

There were genuine moments of self-love staring back at me from the screen. A mischievous grin I knew I had but never seen for myself, a quiet strength in my eyes, the soft curves of my body that, despite the changes of post-pregnancy body image and perimenopause, looked… well, like me.  At least the version I envision as I go about my day-to-day life. The final test was would they hold up once I uploaded them onto my computer.  I worried that the smaller screen of my camera had betrayed me somehow.  

But the opposite was true.  I ended up loving them even more seeing them on my larger screen.  It was a revelation about body positivity photos and seeing myself through a different, kinder lens. The experience wasn’t about perfection; it was about acceptance and finding beauty in the authentic, expressive, unique me. For someone who dreads having her photograph taken, this was nothing short of a miracle.

My story, Your Story

And that, my friends, is when the colossal, flashing lightbulb couldn’t be ignored. My own ridiculously dramatic selfie saga, this journey from dread to a glimmer of self-acceptance, was an exact mirror of what so many of you experience when you book your portrait or boudoir experience with me. It’s the same narrative I hear, day in and day out, from the incredible women who grace my studio.  I always knew it but for once I really felt it to my core.

You walk in, often feeling vulnerable, perhaps a little uncertain about investing in a professional photoshoot at this stage of life. Maybe you’re navigating similar shifts, like a post-pregnancy body image changes or the delightful roller coaster of how your body image after 40 navigating your peri or post menopausal years. You express fears about not liking a single image, about looking unattractive, about feeling awkward in front of the camera. You’re searching for confidence, but perhaps with a healthy dose of skepticism born from years of societal pressures and self-criticism. Just like me, you’re prepared for disappointment, ready to confirm all those nagging doubts.

The Transformation: Beyond the Lens, Into Confidence

But then, something truly magical happens. In the safe, judgment-free space of my studio, guided by someone who genuinely sees and celebrates your unique beauty, you begin to relax. The initial nerves start to melt away, replaced by a quiet sense of curiosity, then empowerment. You realize this isn’t just about getting a few pretty pictures; it’s an empowering photoshoot designed specifically to help you rediscover your incredible self, to honor the woman you are, exactly as you are, right now.

My job is to hold up a mirror and show you what I already see: your strength, your resilience, your undeniable allure. We work together, we laugh, and we create stunning art that captures your true essence. And just like my own unexpected selfie revelation, the moment you see your images is often a profound one. That initial fear of not liking anything evaporates, replaced by genuine delight. You end up loving so many images, it’s truly a challenge to pick your favorites! This isn’t just about a photograph; it’s about a profound shift in perspective, a powerful step toward feeling confident in your body image after 40 and beyond. It’s about realizing the beauty you possess was there all along, waiting to be seen.

Now it’s time: Take Your Own Leap of Faith- Limited Time Offer

If my selfie struggle resonates with you – that nagging voice of doubt, the fear of not measuring up – imagine the surge of confidence you’ll gain from a luxury supermodel or boudoir session tailored just for you. This isn’t just about pretty pictures; it’s an investment in self-love and a powerful step toward reclaiming your narrative.

I know it is post Mother’s Day but it’s never too late to treat yourself or the incredible mom in your life to the profound gift of truly seeing and celebrating her own beauty. It’s an opportunity to experience that same turning point I had, but in a setting designed for pure empowerment and elegance. Don’t let fear hold you back from seeing how truly captivating you are. I’ve extended my Mother’s Day Special.  See more about my Mother’s Day Special and book your session today: http://cassykphotography.com/mother-s-day

You are worth seeing

My selfie experiment, as uncomfortable as it was, taught me a profound lesson that I already knew intellectually but needed to feel in my bones: you are worthy of seeing your own beauty, exactly as you are, right now. No ‘perfect’ body needed, no waiting for a different life stage or to lose weight. Just you, courageous and ready to be seen, truly seen, for the magnificent woman you are.

Have you thought about booking your own shoot with Cassy? Download your complimentary Dream Shoot Planner by clicking HERE.  It will tell you all about the experience and what to expect.  I would love to chat with you! You can give me a call directly at 319-849-5152.  You can also email me at info@cassykphotography.com.  I can’t wait to hear from you!